Downfall
by AnneBonne
Summary: A little kurtbastian inspired by hush hush.


Hi, I have absolutely no idea what is this, just an idea I got while reading hush hush I guess, I hope you like it. Feel free to tell me whatever you think about it. Mistakes are mine, characters not.

And I think that's it.

Oh and I listened to (search in youtube) "2cellos clocks" while I wrote it, is not absolutely necessary but if you want you can listen to it while reading. (And since we are here, listen to everything from 2cellos they are amazing!)

Okay now bye :)

* * *

Last night I have the most mystifying dream ever.

I saw a pair of deep green eyes staring at me with such an intensity I felt consumed, like I was melt and swallowed whole by the passion in them. It felt so scary and yet so unbelievably captivating I couldn't walk away of them. I don't remember anything but those eyes, bright with emotions from pain, to forgiveness, to lost, to truth, those eyes held captive every emotion I've ever known. And they stared at me.

I felt captive inside them. Warm and safe. So attached in the deep green I had an overwhelming sense of lost when I woke up.

Of course in the last year I had lost my brother and almost one of my best friends so feeling something remotely close to lost due to a dream was rather idiotic when you think about it.

I pushed the covers aside and turned off the alarm, which by the way had buzzed for twenty minutes before pulling me out my sleep so I was late to my first comeback day to college, not that anyone would care nor say a word about it, they were still to busy eye pitying me for what had happened to remind me that I had to arrive class before 9am.

I changed my comfy pj's for a dark blue sweater and black fitted jeans and prayed it'd make me look better than I felt so that everybody would think I'm better or whatever and stop staring. Although deep down I know it wouldn't be any different.

On my way out I grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen, a scarf, globes and a leather jacket because winter in New York sucked and it was freezing cold outside.

Nothing had really changed since I last came to NYADA, classrooms where the same, people minus the compassion looks, where the same, the cafeteria was the same. Everything. Except I didn't have Rachel to talk to, Adam had graduated, Finn was dead, and I don't remember what it felt like to be happy, but apart from that everything else it's pretty much the same.

Oh look they painted the main door to the text analysis classroom. I had my first class there.

I walked in with professor, Mr. Link, already rambling like always with subjects that mostly don't have anything to do with the class itself but since the man had gone to every freaking country in the world and has all sort stories to tell we rather listen like idiots and nod along that analysis text we won't ever read again in our lives.

"Mr Hummel, glad you could make it to class." He said after I had stayed on the doorway. I didn't catch if it was a sarcastic or a pitiful comment.

"Excuse me I'm late. Can I at come in please?."

He nodded, something inside me told me he wasn't pleased to allow me in. And I liked the old me a little more for treating me like nothing had happened. I eyed the room for a spot, needless to say mine was taken.

_Yay, life is such a joy. Hence I'm being ironic._

"Could you please make all us a favour and take a seat?" Mr Link asked me with clear annoyance, he gestured towards the last seat of the middle row.

I had seen the empty desk but in all honestly I didn't want to sit by the guy who I can only describe as the darkness in person. He had sat there looking down to the floor for a straight hour since our first class and never said a single word. I wasn't afraid, more like trying to be a reasonable human and avoid the guy that held the red flashing sing above his head that read "Danger" but judging by the look I got from the professor I couldn't argue where I was sitting.

_Again the world is so wonderful and magic place. And I love sarcasm._

As the hour passed by two things happened. First I didn't understand how Mr. Link's trip to the Ecuador had anything to do with our paper due to next week about Latin American theatre but I didn't dare to ask because obviously he didn't like me, which was fine. I rather that than being questioned a thousand times if I was okay or if I needed something.

And second since I sat here I got this energy around dark guy by my side. It felt like tension, but not exactly, I'm not sure how to explain it without sounding stupid, but it was like a gravity pulling me towards him not physically but in a more profound almost secret level. I think again the most accurate thing to say is it was like a darkness that surrounded him and if I leaned too close to him it would capture me as well. It both scared and intrigued me.

But then, according to my physiologist I'm most likely attracted to people who are either out of my reach, like John Green (who, sadly isn't my best friend) or to people who don't show any interest on me, (or in this case for anything close to human race) that way, according to Miss Johan, I was protecting myself from the downfall of unrequited love and death. So apparently I could be imagining the force of attraction I felt between the darkness and me.

I'm surprised nobody had ever given me more medication. Maybe the next time I go to see Miss Johan she would recommend me to visit her (_fuck life and whatever_) psychiatric bother.

Did I mention I take two antidepressants every day and three Blue pills one with each meal? Yeah I do. And worst of all, they don't do anything but give me insomnia.

"You agree Mr Hummel?" The professor slammed his hand on my desk, calling my attention. I assumed he already knew I wasn't listening but I nodded anyway as to make him feel heard. Or to avoid any further conversation. Whatever he had asked about must have been bad to me because he grinned almost in a devilish way. "Right. Then you are the first one exposing your favourite Latin American author next week."

"Wait what?" I snapped out of where my mind had rambled moments ago. "But wasn't an essay— ? "

"Should I take that as you weren't paying attention on my class?"

Okay maybe some pity would have been useful here "No sir." I stuttered.

"Good." He said, and kept talking about how the sun settle on the Caribbean beaches.

What the hell Caribbean beaches had to do with anything but to tell us how wonderful his life has been, compared to us, specially compared to mine? I have no idea but whatever. I had no energy to spend thinking about it.

"Just for you to know, he is messing with you." His voice sweet yet not friendly. As I didn't answered he looked up for the first time, ever, and I was felt the air catching in my throat.

His eyes were the colour of melted emerald, deep captivating green with little dots of brown. They shone darkly. If not for the constant voice on the background I'd bet I was still sleeping.

The something snapped inside him, and he turned his gaze towards the blackboard on front of us. "You'd have to write an essay, just like the rest of the class. He only said it to prove your head was somewhere else."

And indeed it was. "Thanks. I'm Kurt." I said, before I could help myself.

_So much to avoid dark clouds..._

He smiled, his smile was shadowy enough to be a dead sentence "Sebastian." He whispered.

I can't explain why, but I felt the darkness around us sheltering me as he crooked his head and looked me one more time deep on the eyes. It only lasted a second, leaving a cold shiver running my spine, but it felt so wonderful I wonder if it was all part of a hallucination as Miss Johan insisted. For me I felt more alive in that split second that I have in the last months.


End file.
